Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
