whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
