Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
