Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
