so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
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