Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
