i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
FUCK WHALES
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
