I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Randomize
