Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize