If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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