I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
