What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
