How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
