Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
