apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize