Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
