I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize