Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
