dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
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