And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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