Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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