She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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