It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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