2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
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