I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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