I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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