I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
