I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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