isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
