it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
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