Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
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