i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
