if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Sorry my hands just texted you
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
