You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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