yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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