it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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