He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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