pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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