I don't usually arrange sex via text message
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
