I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I enjoy the company of your penis
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
