I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
