and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
