Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize