I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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