your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
So much Jack, so little girl.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
