i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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