just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize