No, drunk sperm still make babies.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
bring money and cleavage
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
