Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
