the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
It's shark week go big or go home
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
