Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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