nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
she looked like the before picture.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
