He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize