Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I want a musical about memes.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize