I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
