I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
how does that bad decision feel?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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