Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
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