well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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