Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
